


Steve

by theworldunseen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 10:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14470599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theworldunseen/pseuds/theworldunseen
Summary: Bucky knows that Steve is coming to Wakanda, and he has so many things to say. How could he ever get them out?Basically Bucky's emotions through Infinity War. TIME TO BE SAD.





	Steve

Steve was coming. Here. To Wakanda. To Bucky.

Bucky knew it as soon as T’Challa presented him with the arm. That wouldn’t have happened if this wasn’t the big one. And if it was the big one, Steve was coming. Steve.

Bucky didn’t know what to do with himself, with his hands, with his clothes. The new arm felt amazing — better than his old arm, and maybe even better than the real one. He couldn’t stop thanking Shuri, who kept making fun of him, saying that his old arm could’ve been designed by a Wakandan first grader, and telling him to go wash his hair.

But he wasn’t really thanking her for the arm. He was thanking her for his mind. He remembered everything. And some of it was too terribly for words. But, most importantly, he remembered who Steve was. He got it, finally. His best friend, who saved him seventy years ago, and then took on the world to save him again. But what do you say to the man who gave you everything — the man who is everything — when you finally see him again, whole? Or if not whole, healing.

Bucky washed his hair. He suited up, for the first time in a long time, which felt like the first time in even longer. He listened to T’Challa’s briefing, trying to make sense of the insensible. And he waited for Steve.

So soon the Quinjet was landing. Bucky was trying to focus on the task at hand — saving the world, saving the universe. But now his universe was landing. Steve Rogers. Captain America.

How did two boys from Brooklyn end up here?

And then he sees him. Steve. Steve Steve Steve. 

“Thank you, Steve,” he wants to say. “Steve, it’s me again,” he wants to say. “Me, really me. I remember, Steve. Everything, Steve. Do you?”

But this isn’t the time, and this isn’t the place and things move so quickly and suddenly they’re at war. Always at war. For the first time in a long time, Bucky had known peace here in Wakanda. And when a war had been fought here, on this land, he had not been called upon as a soldier. What a feeling of relief.

He knew it would not last, but he wished it could have, just a little longer. He wished Steve could have known that peace too. With him.

Instead, Steve Rogers — Captain America — is here, a leader of the last defense of the planet earth. Aliens and gods of Thunder and talking raccoons. If they’d heard a story like this on the radio back in Brooklyn, they would’ve laughed and called it baby stuff. But it’s not baby stuff.

Steve is not baby stuff. He’s too good at this. He is fierce and he is terrifying and he is beautiful. He hides behind his new beard and hair — maybe not new, Bucky wouldn’t know — but underneath he is the same. That much Bucky knows.

He is mostly driven by the belief that this is right, that people ought to be protected, and that if he can protect one person, he ought to do it. He has to do it. When Bucky looks at him, he is filled with pride. Steve has always been better than him. And Bucky is filled with sadness. Someone good and pure like Steve should be far away from pain and violence and suffering, not in the middle of it, always in the middle of it. Steve deserves light and love and Nathan’s hot dogs and endless summer. Bucky always knew that, but now he remembered it too.

The team is scattered. Thanos is here. And then he is gone. Did we win?

No. Bucky feels it, starting at his legs, tearing him apart. It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t feel good either. He has so many things left to say. Everything left to say.

Steve, thank you.

Steve, help me.

Steve, I’m sorry.

Steve, I love you.

All he gets out is “Steve,” as he falls to the ground, evaporates into air, comes apart. Ceases to exist. 

Steve.

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sad lol bye


End file.
